Emotions: How to have a control on them?

Every emotion is precious. Sometimes, these emotions can lead to severe distress. But thankfully, there are ways to have a control on your emotions by adopting various health techniques and lifestyle changes.


Create your bliss book or joy box.\” Fill it with happy memories, such as photos and mementos, like a ticket stub to a favorite concert. Print out inspirational quotes you enjoy to add to your book or box. Include a gratitude list or journal, as well as items you find comforting. For example, your box could also contain a funny book, a few candies, a nice mug, and a box of tea. Bring out your book or box when you feel emotional.

  • You can also create a digital version of your happy book with photos, memes, inspirational quotes, gifts, etc. that make you feel good.

You can read our blog- How to Sleep Peacefully: Tips to follow

Confronting Your Feelings

Identify what your actual emotions are-

Learning to pinpoint and name your emotions can give you control over them when you feel like they’re running wild. Take a few deep breaths, then force yourself to look straight at the things you’re feeling, even if it’s painful. Then, ask yourself what the source of that emotion is, and if it’s covering up for something else that you’re afraid to confront.

  • For example, ask yourself what about taking a major exam is making you so stressed. It might have a big influence on your future, or you feel like you have to do well to impress your family. At the root of your nerves might be a fear that your family’s love depends on your success.
  • Remember that no emotion is “wrong.” Telling yourself not to feel something is a way of hurting yourself even more. Accept that the emotion is natural and let yourself feel it.

Think about what you can do to resolve the situation-

Sometimes, you may feel out of control emotionally because you can’t see how to control the situation around you. This can lead to “ruminating,” a “broken record” thought loop where you obsess about the negative thought or feeling in an unproductive, usually vague, way. Break this cycle by focusing on any specifics of the situation that you can address.

  • Instead of ruminating about trouble at work by thinking, “Why am I so bad at my job?”, make a list of things that you can address.
  • Work to accept the things that your own efforts can’t address. Letting go of the idea that you need to “fix” or “control” every element of a situation is a way to liberate yourself from stress and emotional turmoil.

Decide how to move forward in the best way you can-

When you’re ready to decide on a course of action, make sure it’s a conscious choice, not a reaction to another, competing emotion. Think about how you want to resolve this situation and why. What values of yours does this response represent? Does it make sense rationally, too?

  • Think about what your moral principles are. What is the decision you\’d be most proud of? Then, ask yourself which course of action is the most likely to result in the outcome you want.
  • For example, if someone insults you, you could do nothing, respond aggressively, or firmly tell them to stop. Ask yourself how you want this situation to end, and how to get there without compromising the things you believe in.

Reacting to Your Emotions in a Healthy Ways

Learn to recognize defensiveness in both yourself and others-

You may feel defensive if you feel stressed, frustrated, or personally attacked. However, it\’s important to listen to the opinions of others, especially if they\’re given constructively, without taking them personally. You can cope with defensiveness by reducing the threat in the situation and remaining curious about the thoughts of others. Here are signs of defensiveness:

  • Refusing to listen to negative feedback
  • Making excuses for failures
  • Passing blame
  • Crossing your arms to shut people out
  • Smiling and nodding to get the person to stop talking
  • Listing reasons why you\’re right without talking to others
  • Ignoring feedback from others
  • Using sarcasm or criticism of others to deflect from criticism about yourself

Take precautions against your emotional triggers-

Your activation is the chemical energy that bring various emotions with everything and everyone. Once you know your triggers, you can plan for them and mentally prepare yourself.

  • For instance, let\’s say your sister makes you angry every time you see her. Before the next family gathering, you might engage in relaxing self care before you go, then plan how you will take breaks from your sister throughout the day. You might make plans with another relative to go do something, or you might plan to leave and pick up a dish. Limit how much time you spend with her, and plan a way to leave early, if necessary.

Do nothing if someone is trying to frustrate you-

If you can tell that someone is bothering you just to egg you on, take a deep breath and stay calm. Speak calmly and refuse to let them get to you.

Relax if you feel angry or upset-

If you feel angry, you might clench your jaws and tense up. Take a deep breath and relax. This will make you forget your bad vibes and make you concentrate on your work.

Try doing the opposite of what you would normally do-

If you feel yourself reacting to strong emotions in a way that’s typical for you, stop yourself. Take a moment and think about what would happen if you tried the opposite of your usual reaction. Try a new method if it doesn’t work productive.

For example, you might get bothered when your spouse regularly doesn\’t do the dishes. Instead of starting an argument, challenge yourself to do the dishes yourself, then politely ask your spouse if they could help.

Remove yourself from a situation that generates negative feelings-

Sometimes the best reaction is walking away and avoiding your triggers altogether. If a situation can be reworked relatively easily and without hurting others, do what you can to remove yourself from it and your negative feelings.

  • For example, if you’re on a committee at work that includes people who are unfocused, you might get upset when attending the meetings. One strategy for dealing with this frustration is to ask to be re-assigned to a different committee.

Happy reading!